Welcoming a new baby to your family is a whirlwind for everyone, but especially a toddler. One of my favorite things about toddlers is how the entire world revolves around them, but this stage of development can make it really tough to adjust to sharing your time and attention. Wondering how you can prepare your toddler for a sibling? I’ve promoted two babies to “big sister,” and I want to share some tips for preparing your toddler for a sibling.

Start preparing before the baby comes

In developmentally appropriate ways, start talking about the new baby. Admittedly the concept can be really abstract for young toddlers, but still, talking about the baby is a great first start. I like to refer to baby as “our baby” so older siblings can feel like the baby “belongs” to everyone, not just mom and dad. If possible, bring your child along to a prenatal appointment so they can hear the heartbeat. Show them sonogram pictures. Include them in the journey.

Read books to prepare your toddler

Both of my girls love to read, so incorporating books about becoming a big sister was super helpful. We would read the books and talk about the baby in my belly. Some books we enjoyed include I’m Going to be Your Big Sister and Nine Months.

Have realistic expectations

Know that it might be really tough in the beginning. And as one of my favorite mama mentors says, hard is not the same thing as bad. Everyone is adjusting with a new siblings. Some things that helped our transition were keeping our routines as close to the same as possible. This included having my mom still come over for her weekly date with my kids, and my husband still taking our girls to weekly play group. I tried to be conscientious of the language I used so as to not blame the baby. If my oldest needed something while I was nursing the baby, instead of saying “I can’t right now, I’m feeding the baby,” I’d try to say, “I need about five more minutes, and then I can help you.”

Just remember that any bumps along the way are only temporary. You got this. I hope to see you and your sweet family in front of my lens soon!